Still Can't Find TP?

It's been over four weeks since the lockdown started and today we ventured out to pickup a few items at our local grocery store. About half of the shoppers were wearing masks. Many displayed a lack of social distancing skills. I noticed a lot of people leaving the store with only one sack. I assume they were trying to spend as little time in the store as possible. Despite attempts by stores to keep the shelves stocked, many items are still unavailable. One item that is still impossible to find is toilet paper.

The checkout lady said that when the lockdown started several "men" came into the store, loaded up carts with TP, and cleaned them out. The store didn't stop them from checking out, because they had no idea why anyone would want that much TP, or that it would cause a shortage. That's the start of a good conspiracy theory, if I ever heard one. Someday they will find all of the missing TP in an underground storage facility, safe from frustrated consumers.

Now, four weeks later, the shelves are still empty. How much TP does a person really need? Let's say that the average mega roll has about 260 sheets, if you use the bathroom 3 times each day and use 3 sheets per wipe, you would go through 9 sheets each day. One roll should last one person about a month. I'm taking gender into account here too, as women use more TP on average than men. You can make a roll last longer if you cut back to 2 sheets per wipe. Something that would be wise if you don't want to run out before they have more available. To help figure out how much TP your family needs, try my new online Toilet Paper Calculator. It estimates daily and monthly usage based on the size of your family, how many in your household work or go to school, how many sheets are used per wipe, and how many sheets are on each roll. It is written with javascript, formatted for cell phones, and has been tested in a Chrome browser.

Recent searches for TP at online retailers all show "Currently Unavailable". You can find generic industrial grade TP on Amazon, but the delivery dates are typically 3-4 weeks out. In a moment of panic my GF placed an order for TP on Amazon. After she told me, I saw that the product was only rated one star and it was coming from a seller in China! Of all things, you don't want to buy TP from China. She cancelled the order on the same day. A week later Amazon finally refunded her money and delisted the one star seller. We have 18 rolls left, which should last us about 6 months. No need to panic.